Why is crime so fascinating?

Let’s play Jeopardy.

1. Extreme paranoia that someone will enter the house clothed in black from head to toe, hide in the closet for 24 hours, then attack when everyone is sleeping peacefully.

2. Checking the door locks fifteen times within a five minute period before bed.

3. Try to change up my daily routine so stalkers won’t know my schedule, therefore knowing when it’s the perfect time to strike.

Anyone know the answer? What are the reasons why Jill shouldn’t watch crime shows anymore? That’s right!

Last week I watched the premiere episodes of Criminal Minds and CSI: NY. I love those shows, but every night after I watch them, my paranoia gets worse. I have nightmares, I freak out if I hear one little noise like Tigger running across the floor or ice falling from the ice maker, and I drive Sheldon crazy with my imaginative stories of who could be in our house and what they could be doing if he doesn’t go check the front door one last time.

The CSI episode I watched was especially gory too. It seems like those shows are just getting worse as far as showing as much murder detail as possible goes. One of the people who were murdered on the show was embalmed while he was still alive! Ew! What will the writers think of next?

The Criminal Minds’ murderer was a security guard. Talk about not being able to trust anyone. I’m already borderline rude to men I don’t know just so they won’t show any interest. And the security guard used a knife. Ick! I hate knives. I don’t even have anything sharp enough in my house to do the job. It’s BYOW (bring your own weapon) if you’re coming to my house. Not that I’m inviting anyone to come over.

Oh, and another show I watched a couple weeks ago was about a fake fireman that would start small fires in apartment buildings so he could get women to open their apartment doors. They thought they were being rescued! How does one avoid that?! Thank goodness I don’t live in an apartment, because I think I’d know if someone started a small fire in my little house.

So, with all that to say, I really don’t think I’ll be watching crime shows anymore. Even though I love trying to figure out who the killer is and seeing all the creative ways the writers come up with to kill someone every week for several seasons, I’ll try to avoid the temptation to watch the really intriguing upcoming episode of Criminal Minds.

I’ll just have to settle for Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmerman or Weird Travels on the Travel Channel. They can’t be that scary, right?