When we become grown-ups, are we done dreaming? Do we lose that feeling of "we can do whatever we want to" once we hit adulthood? Does the daily grind of reality slowly disintegrate our ability to dream? When we become responsible for ourselves and our own lives, we lose a bit of freedom. It's ironic. Everything has to be planned and scheduled.
I've been defying actual adulthood, which is weird because I've wanted to be a grown-up since I was five. At the ripe age of nine, I told my mom that I was way too old to be wearing hair scrunchies, and that they were for children. By 15 I was babysitting a couple nights a week and every weekend. I had my own savings account, made my own money, and helped my mom take care of my younger siblings. By 17 I was engaged and ready to make a lifetime commitment to another human being.
Now I'm 25, I have a pretty set schedule every week, I'm in bed by 10 o'clock every night, and I have "my shows" that I watch on certain nights of the week. I even eat oatmeal on a regular basis. So, how have I been defying adulthood you ask, since I'm clearly living the exciting life of a 60-year-old.
As my regular blog-readers know, I decided to spontaneously get a nose ring. I still blare my music really loudly in my truck, and I don't have kids yet. Until just recently I liked to spend money however it suited me whenever I wanted to. My husband and I have been attending Financial Peace University weekly to learn how we should be spending, or should I say saving, our money.
So really, the last bit of childhood I'm holding on to is not having children. I'm scared to death that if I have kids, my whole child-ness, which I didn't really experience as a child, will be gone forever. I'll have to be the parent for at least the next 30 years. Which means no more loud music in vehicles (I might bust my child's eardrums) and my nose ring probably wouldn't go over well at the "awesome private school's" PTA meetings.
I'm ready to go crazy. Well, not like crazy. But have some fun. I just graduated, I have a job that would support "fun", and I'd like to enjoy my tiny bit of freedom before I become totally adult. And I think I'll always reserve a little bit of space for dreaming.
8 comments:
Just a little comment to the "baby name discussion group" - I still like to do that. :)
"The exciting life of a 60-year-old" made me laugh! :)
I think kids will actually help me hang onto childhood. I mean, when else can you actually swing on the swings and go down the slide at the park? It only looks normal when you're doing it with a little kid. Think of the possibilities! You can laugh really loud, make funny faces, run just to run, roll in the grass, have tickle wars, blow bubbles, fly kites, play with finger paint, catch bugs--all in the name of parenting!
I haven't been a fan of having kids most of my adult life, but the one constant "pro" has been that I could act like a kid and get away with it! :)
Yup... I think you'd get to act like a kid again with kids. But, you're right... do your spontaneous and crazy somethings now. And I'm sure money managing gets more complicated with a child in the mix.
If anyone at the awesome private school says anything about your nose ring, I'll beat them up. Puny little private school parents! :-)
That goes ditto for me on what Karen said about the Private School....YOU GO SISTA!!!! Me being the age that I am....I don't think that I have have actually grown up yet...heeheee!
I don't think you've grown up yet either Brandy! :)
Thanks for the backup Karen! We can take 'em together. And thanks for sharing some of my "crazy somethings" moments with me.
Lydia, I never thought of it that way before. Thanks for the new perspective. :)
You need to rethink your definition of "adulthood." Although the money thing is reasonable, loud music, nose rings, "having fun" and dreaming are not mutually exclusive of adulthood. Neither is parenting a move into Dullsville. Yes, we have to find a babysitter rather than just hitting the city at a whim, but we still tie one on occasionally!
Your inherent "coolness" is part of who you are. Think of all those kids you knew who had the "cool" mom or the "hot" mom. LOL! Your children will love that you are living in THIS decade and not clinging to "the good ole days." (after they get over the bizarre embarrassment of not having the "cookie baking PTA" mom.)
And deciding how toadorn your body/nose/cut your hair/ etc based on what the other moms will think. I actually guffaw at the thought. the "other moms" have already labeled me as various things: "wild" "hip" "crazy" "cool." Most envy my ability to remain young and hip even when I am attending a MOPS meeting. (mother's of preschoolers) NOne of them look down their noses at me, hopefully becasue I am a good person--even in my high heels and trendy accessories!
I love you and your nose ring. Never change, girl.
Aw..thanks Cortney. I aspire to be a "wild-hip-crazy-cool" MOP one day. :) Thanks for the always-encouraging words of Ms. Doohicky!
My confession to feeling "old:" I DO NOT like loud music. It hurts my ears! And I love to nap. LOVE IT!
Confessions of still being young? Well, I have a nose ring, too, and stripey highlights. And I dress kinda grunge/trendy sometimes.
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